Beyond the Disbelief


“I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”

Mark 9:24


This week I went to daily mass, Or at least I tried to anyways. I went to the church, walked in, and it was dark. Instead of leaving after realizing that today they weren’t holding mass, I decided to stay for a little bit.

I went ahead and came to a pew and knelt down. The first thing that popped into my head was God, help me beyond my disbelief. Pondering on that line for a little bit, I realized that often when I go to kneel I always start with that same line: God, help me beyond my disbelief. I don’t exactly know why it comes to me, but I have been reflecting on it and trying to create a sensible reason on what it actually means.

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Believing that God is God can be a pretty big pill to swallow, right? Having faith that he’s the creator of the universe is bonkers, right? For me, I know this and I believe it wholeheartedly. No problem. So, what is this “disbelief” that I have?

 

It’s not that I don’t believe that He is who He is. It’s believing that God loves me, trusts me, and has a plan for me. I know He loves me, but I always struggle with being able to rest and know that I am enough for Him. To know that what I do has a purpose in doing His will.

 

Coming to the realization of what my “disbelief” is won’t change things instantly. Now though, I’m aware of what I’m actually praying for when I say God, help me beyond my disbelief. It all will come to me with continual prayer and trust in His plan for me. I believe that.

 

God, help me beyond my disbelief.

Your love for me is pure and never ending.

The plans you have for me are unimaginable.

Yet, I still seem to fumble,

At times, I focus so much on the here and now,

I don’t see the big picture you have painted for me.

Give me the strength to never falter in my faith,

And to never doubt your love.

Show me the way to your heart.

God, I believe.

Amen.

 

Prayers and Blessings,

Marissa Rose

 

A little FYI: This post was actually written in November. Looking through my drafts, I saw this today and asked myself, “Why haven’t I posted this?!” So, here it is! I hope you enjoyed!


 

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